The Last Night
by idamnloveOrange
Summary: Four nights with her before he is executed, he wished to bid her adieu and she let him lock himself in her empty heart. BlackFrost oneshot. Based on the song The Last Night by Skillet.


**_You come to me with scars on your wrist_**  
**_You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this_**  
**_I just came to say goodbye_**  
**_I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine_**  
**_But I know it's a lie._**

The rain kept drumming on the roof and the sound of it cascaded in echoes inside her head. She wasn't awake nor was she asleep. She didn't know if she was dreaming or having a nightmare. Half conscious and half in slumber, all she was focused on was the pelts of rain water on her window. Thoughts drifting to and fro between sentiment and indifference.

She had decided long ago that sentiment was weakness and so, she discarded any trace of it within her. On the other hand, indifference was a key and the lock in which it opens to is the lack of pain that sentiment causes. With love there is error while without it, there is perfection.

She never knew love and that made her think she was perfect. The closest she could possibly get to love would be a bond. It is deep but it never makes her crave unlike what affection does. It exhausts you of your whole being and leaves you wanting for more but marks you forever with the pain.

Even though she felt dull, at least she wasn't hurting and broken.

The splitting sound of shattering glass pulled her from between sleep and wake and she jolted upright, grabbing the revolver from under her pillow. She swiftly stood and made to move her feet, not a sound emitted from her movements. Padding softly on the carpeted floor she opened the lights of the sala and she almost gasped at what she saw.

Her gun pointed at his temple and her brows furrowed in both anger and seriousness. He made a move to stand but his feet were too weak to carry the movement. Groaning and whispering a curse, he shut his eyes tight and pulled his knees to his chest. His arms wrapped around his lithe body as if it could shield him from harm. He didn't even give the woman in front of him any attention.

She noticed his lack of attention to her and took quiet steps forward, lessening the distance between them. Her gun still pointed at him when she opened her mouth to demand the reason for him being there but he opened his eyes and looked at her straight in the eye.

"Have you the time for a farewell?" He said in hushed tones and made another attempt to stand but failed.

"What do you mean?" She asked her voice deep and indifferent.

"I came to say goodbye."

She was confused of his statement and it almost took her off guard. Almost. But she knew better and a display of gentleness from him won't sway her.

"Why?" Her question was quick and she sounded as if she had snapped at him.

"I am to be executed," His gaze was genuinely sorrowful and she knew he wasn't lying. "Four nights from now."

She scowled at his expression and raised her brow in irritation. She hated the look on him. He was weak. He had sentiment. He was being true. And it infuriated her that he had such emotion, raw and clear. She didn't know if she was angered because he was there or she was jealous of him having developed sentiment.

She didn't like sentiment and she had secretly respected the god before her because exactly like her, he classified it as weak and troublesome. She knew they were more alike than any pair of twins alive. They both had icy hearts and with their gushing red ledgers, they understand why they regard affection as a weakness.

He was compromised in front of her and she didn't understand why. This god she came to respect made her jealous and she didn't like feeling such emotion.

"What happened to you?" She asked, her voice was shaking with disbelief.

He looked away and sighed. He fell silent for a moment as if in contemplation before gazing back at her with resolution blazing in his eyes.

"I want to learn something."

She furrowed her brows in confusion and dropped her gun on the couch beside her, sensing that he wasn't a threat.

"What?" She asked shortly, wanting to lessen the words that she would utter.

"I'll tell you in time, before my death. I assure you. But not now. I want to take my time." he answered and finally after a third attempt, stood on his feet.

She noticed that he wasn't wearing his leather robes but instead, some tattered garbs drenched with freshly dried blood. For the first time, she saw the wounds and bruises on his body and it made her remember the tortures and fighting she had endured in her lifetime. She moved to touch them but decided against it.

"They tortured you." It sounded more of a question than a statement and pain flashed in his eyes for a moment before they were replaced with a dead expression. She felt her heart twist at the look in his eyes and it made her regret what she said.

"They... wanted to punish me with pain. But I..." He paused and breathed in. "I begged for death."

At that moment she felt like the world has stopped and she felt the huge urge to make him smile before he dies. _Stop_. She thought and pushed the boiling sentiments aside.

She had been through the worst pain a mortal could ask for and she had never begged for death just to stop the pain. She knew that he wouldn't beg either yet she was shocked that he asked for it.

She remembered that he said he wanted to learn something and she thought what it could possibly be. She tried to connect his death wish with what he wanted but it didn't made sense to her.

"What do you want?" She asked and his face lit up with a small shy smile.

"May I... spend the night?" He gingerly asked and she nodded without a second thought.

Tucking themselves in her bed covers, she didn't know what made her take him to her bed when she could have told him to sleep on the couch. Maybe she just pitied him and felt like he shouldn't be alone.

She turned to face him and saw the glistening of his eyes. She saw a tear fall and he turned to the other side, silently sobbing to himself. He didn't want her to see him cry but he couldn't hold himself back. She moved closer to him and brought her arms around his body. She held him close against her body and she herself could feel his pain.

"You'll be alright." She whispered and he let out a whimper.

"I'll be alright."

But they both knew that it was a lie.

**_This is the last night you'll spend alone_**  
**_Look me in the eyes so I know you know_**  
**_I'm everywhere you want me to be._**  
**_The last night you'll spend alone,_**  
**_I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go,_**  
**_I'm everything you need me to be._**

She felt empty that morning when she found out that he had left before she woke up. She had the feeling of missing someone even though he had only spent a single night with her. There was a pull that made her want to comfort him and she somehow forgot why she didn't favor sentiment.

The skies were dark again in the evening and rain was just starting to pour when she got home from SHIELD and the grocery store. She checked her groceries and cursed in Russian when she found out that she forgot to buy pudding. She made a mental note to buy the desert the next morning and started to prepare her dinner when she realized that she had lost her appetite at the thought of him.

She remembered his wounds and the clothes he wore, and then his cheeks were hollow and his body thinner than usual. If he ever comes again she would make sure that he gets to eat and dress properly. There was something really crazy with what she was doing. Why was she taking care of him? She didn't know. All she knows was that there was a huge sense in helping him before he is killed.

_Just giving happiness to someone who is going to die soon_ . That's what she tells herself but deep inside she knew that it wasn't just some kind of favor.

Hours passed by and she still has not eaten yet. She looked at the clock and it was twelve thirty nine AM. She couldn't get herself to eat nor drink and she couldn't go to sleep either. A part of her felt incomplete and laughed sarcastically at herself when she thought that he was the reason of her distress.

Closing her eyes and trying again to get some sleep, she felt the shifting of the other side of the bed and felt the cool touch of his skin. He wrapped his arms around her and she eased against his hold.

"Having trouble with sleep?" He asked lips so close to her ear.

"Mhm." She hummed in reply. A thought occurred to her and she turned to face him. His breath hot on her skin. "Let's go."

"Go where?" He asked like how a child would and it brought a smile on her lips.

"Everywhere. Anywhere you want."

He looked at her thoughtfully before moving to sit up. She followed and sat with her legs crossed. "Where?" She prompted.

"Where there is something sweet." He answered with a childish grin.

She agreed and they went out. Hailing a cab and stopping at the twenty four hour convenient store, she bought a box of pudding and they walked to the park. As they ate the desert, he kept looking at the starry sky above and she watched him innocently.

"Hey." She called and he looked at her inquiringly. "Why do you keep looking at the stars? Do you... miss it up there?"

He swallowed the spoonful of pudding before he sighed and shook his head.

"I just... I have never appreciated the beauty of the cosmos. One look and I'm captured by its finesse. I'll just look at it and somehow, I feel... Free."

She nodded a little and looked at the sky. "Just a look and you're captured?" She asked and looked back at him. His gaze was fixed on her and she didn't notice that he had moved closer. Her blue eyes staring into him just as his green ones bore into her. A light flickered in his eyes and she knew at that moment that he was captured.

**_Your parents say everything is your fault_**  
**_But they don't know you like I know you they don't know you at all_**  
**_I'm so sick of when they say_**  
**_It's just a phase, you'll be okay, you're fine_**  
**_But I know it's a lie._**

"They all say that everything is my fault," He murmured on her shoulder. "Of course they are right. I caused many horrible occurrences and I am to blame."

She frowned a little at his words and placed her right hand on top of his. "They don't know you. They don't know why you did those things." She reasoned.

No one knows him, no one recognizes the real him. Why he did such horrible acts. But she knew. She could see him clearly because she used to be like him. She killed because of a purpose. There reasons were different but it still was the same in a sense. She killed because it was what she grew up with. It was the identity that she grew to accept. He killed because he was confused. It was a point where his whole identity was false. They both had identity crisis and it was what drew them to understand each other.

"They keep calling my betrayal a phase. When I was only trying to accept the fact that I am the monster that parents tell their children about at night." He stated sadly and she twisted to look at him.

"You're no monster. You're just misunderstood." _So am I_. She thought as she held him close like how a mother would hold her precious child.

She wanted to ease his pain and sorrow and the only thing she knew how was to hold onto him dearly. She never knew kindness and so she didn't know how to give it to others. All she could offer him was the honesty in her that only comes out once on a blue moon.

"It's a lie." He whispered.

"What is?"

"That it will be alright. They keep telling me that. I don't believe them." He explained and she nodded gently.

"Then don't."

"There's only one lie I believe in." He said and she asked what it was but he didn't answer. Instead he fell asleep.

Just before she her consciousness drifted off, she remembered the first night he came to her and the last words they said before closing their eyes.

_"You'll be alright."_

_"I'll be alright."_

**_The night is so long when everything's wrong_**  
**_If you give me your hand I will help you hold on Tonight,_**  
**_Tonight._**

The following night, she found him already asleep on her bed. She smiled warmly at the sight of him and slipped under the covers. Sensing that she was near, he woke up and slowly opened his eyes.

"You're late tonight." He said and cupped her small porcelain face in his big hands. She closed her eyes and relished in the feeling of his cool touch. She sighed and huddled closer to him.

"I got called by the Director."

"And?" He prompted her to go on and she opened her eyes to look at him.

"Your brother came to SHIELD. He told us the news." She answered with sadness in her eyes.

"You were the first one to know of my execution." He told her. "Only the Allfather and I knew. Not even my mother or that huge oaf knew. I guess everyone knows now. They would hold a feast to celebrate the death of a monster."

Silent tears started streaming from his eyes and all she could do was to kiss them all away. A sob escaped his throat and it took all her control not to spill tears of sorrow. She knew what he was going through and she felt the pain and hurt radiating from him. All the feelings that bottled up coiled like a spring and launched her to make a move.

Her lips lightly touched his and he gasped at the sensation. Like a desperate child, he clung onto her and crashed his lips against hers. She reciprocated and fiercely moved her mouth with his. Tears fell from her eyes and she wondered if it was from the sharing of his pain or the release of her own craving for love. She didn't knew and she hazily thought that it was both. All the pain of being alone since childhood and the feeling of sharing the same burden comforted her.

He eased her on the bed and gave her a soft kiss. Slowly trailing his lips on her skin, she sighed at his feathery touch. His mouth found her neck and he bit on the creamy expanse of skin, lightly sucking on the bitemark until he was sure it would show until the next night. She clasped her hands on his face and pulled him to her for a kiss that felt so desperate and satiating that she didn't want to stop. Whimpering as he pulled his mouth away, she panted and saw how swollen his lips were. She thought that hers mirrored his as well and it made her ache to finally be his.

"Natasha..." He murmured as he kissed his way down her neck and collar bone. She sighed and let him pull her shirt up. Tossing it across the room, he laid his head on her bare chest and listened to the steady beating of her heart. It reminded him that she wasn't all deceit and indifference. She had a heart and so did he. He was a monster and a cold man but beneath all the thick layers of lies and ice, he too has a heart. He just needed to learn that he has.

As their clothes lay strewn on the floor and the sounds of real love and passion filled the room, she swore that they had both been so desperate and wanted nothing more than to feel and cling to one another. Their fingers entwined as he filled her like no other man has. She gave him her heart and he helped her hold on.

**_This is the last night you'll spend alone_**  
**_Look me in the eyes so I know you know_**  
**_I'm everywhere you want me to be._**  
**_The last night you'll spend alone,_**  
**_I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go,_**  
**_I'm everything you need me to be._**

The next morning she was surprised to see that he had stayed. He was right there beside her with his arm wrapped selfishly around her. It made her smile and she laughed. At the sound of her, his eyes fluttered open and he smiled at the sight of her.

"Good morning." He greeted and she lightly kissed him.

"You didn't go?" She asked and he briefly looked hurt. He thought that she expected him to leave but he pushed the thoughts aside when she flashed him the most genuine smile he had ever seen her put on.

"I wanted to wake up with you before I..." A very sad frown appeared on his face and she tried her best not show the dip of the line of her lips.

"No don't say it."

"Before I die."

"Is there any other way?" She asked hopefully and sat up, the bed cover falling from her shoulders and revealing the bruises that formed on her body. He gazed softly at her naked form and his frown deepened when he saw the purple blotches on her skin. He raised a hand to lightly run a finger across one and it sent a shiver down her hand.

"I did this to you." He whispered and she detected the self loathe in his voice.

"No. You gave this to me," She smiled warmly and took his hands in hers. "It's a mark. A sign. That... you taught me something."

He looked at her thoughtfully and gazed at the bruises. "I taught you?"

"Yes."

He mused over her statement and got a little confused. Reaching an arm out to her, he wrapped her in a tight hug and breathed in her lingering sweet scent. It made him light headed and for a moment he forgot his problems.

"Tell me something. Please." He whispered and slightly pulled away to look at her. Gaze swimming over her face with a hint of desperation and hope.

She smiled at him as if urging him on and placed a hand on his cheek. The genuine trust she displayed broke his heart and he couldn't bring himself to speak. This was what he was going to leave behind? No, he couldn't do that. Was he really going to leave her? He can't and he knew that. But what else could he do now that his hours are counted?

"What is it?" She urged once more and his lips twitched a little in anticipation. There was a second of hesitation before he confidently asked.

"What am I to you?"

She was taken aback by his question and she leaned closer to show him that she was sincere. "You are very dear," She paused and took a breathe. "To me."

"You taught me and I learned. I have disregarded any type of sentiment ever since I was young. I hated it and I thought that it was weakness. All my life it has been my philosophy that it is a burden and a hinder. Now it's something new. Something good. It feels wonderful and I can't believe that you made me feel such a thing. I'm... grateful." She finished with a happy and satisfied look.

He was speechless of what she said. He never thought that someone would be so thankful of him. This woman whom he threatened and planned to kill made him realize something. He will not let death take him from her. She needed him and it never occurred to him that he too, needed her. She wasn't the only one who was dependent on another one. The chain that links them will never be severed. That was a promise. And it was the only one he will never break.

"I'm always with you." He said resolutely and she pulled him in a hug.

They spent the whole day like it was they're last, even though it was for him. He knew the hours were drawing near and he constantly had an expression of grief which she would then turn to raw happiness. For that, he too was grateful. To earn the love of the woman who outsmarted the trickster, it was a feat that no one had ever thought would happen. Not even the two of them.

She found herself experiencing a wonderful and complete feeling and she has never felt the urge to want someone infinitely more. She knew that she hated the emotions that whirled in her yet not a single trace of detestation cling to her.

Though she admitted her affection for him, he still was unsure if he should tell her. He was still learning and even if he told her of what he would learn; it would hurt her because after all the time they spent what would she do if he is gone?

After his death, he wondered if she would mourn and eventually forget about him.

**_The night is so long when everything's wrong_**  
**_If you give me your hand I will help you hold on_**  
**_Tonight, Tonight._**

**_I won't let you say goodbye,_**  
**_I'll be your reason why._**  
**_The last night away from me,_**  
**_Away from me._**

"They will burn me alive."

She stopped mid motion in putting the spoon in her mouth and placed the silverware down. Searching his eyes for something or anything other than grief. She was disappointed that she didn't see not an ounce of hope in his eyes and she frowned.

"I can't let you go. I won't." She said stoically but behind the stone-faced facade she had, her emotions were in a raging tempest.

"The Nine Realms need no monsters." He stated and she slammed her palms on the desk as she stood up.

"If you think you are a monster, you're not! If you were you wouldn't go down without a fight. Monsters don't sacrifice themselves for the happiness of others. What are you doing? You _are_ sacrificing yourself! You're no beast, Loki. You are a being well deserving of a chance to make yourself a better person. You... You don't have to die." She explained and it caught him off guard. He didn't expect this from her. The infamous Black Widow urging him to take a second chance.

"Don't die... Please just don't." Her voice faltered and her eyes brimmed with unshed tears. "This sounds pathetic coming from me. I've never showed this much weakness before. I don't like being weak. I don't like this feeling. I want to make it stop. But I know it's too late. Once you're gone it won't stop. I won't be able to bear it. I think I'm going insane. Without you there's nothing. Can't you see how weak you've made me? Don't die. If you do... I will..." She choked out a sob and the tears fell freely. "I will take my life."

Her knees felt weak and she couldn't support herself anymore so she crumpled down on the floor. Her strength gone as she broke down. He moved to her side and gathered her in his arms. Kissing her all over her face, he held her tightly as if doing so would make the pain go away.

"Shh... Natasha. Don't cry, don't cry. I'm here." He soothed but along with her, his heart ached painfully.

"Don't die. Don't, please." She begged, pulling him closer and tighter against her.

_Love is for children_. That was what she said and yet, here she was, lost and desperate like an abandoned child. Perhaps she really did learn how to love. That he really did teach her sentiment even though she resented even the thought of it. He cannot leave her now. It was like they were bound and he wouldn't allow her to lose her sanity because he would die. _Hope_. She hoped for him to live. _Reason_. What is his reason for living now? It is her. Was it her? He couldn't be sure.

"I am child, Natasha."

She lifted her eyes to meet his and she saw a different swirl in his eyes. Was it true? The look in his eyes. Was it really hope that she saw?

"Like a child, I learned. From you." He gazed softly at her and it made the tears stop immediately.

"You're my reason." _And my hope_. "I'll live. For you, I will."

A faint smile grazed her lips and she gingerly kissed him. Softly returning the favor, he felt overjoyed and contented.

_"Have you the time for a farewell?"_

"I'll never leave you."

_"Go where?"_

"Let's run away."

_"I'll be alright."_

"Everything will be alright, Love."

Entwining their hands, they looked at each other. Their eyes locked as if the other were their life line. He rested his forehead on hers and an eerie light started to envelop them. He opened his mouth to speak and the words that flowed were like the most sacred prayer ever spoken.

"Hold on. This would be your last night away from me because at the break of light, forever we are bound. Wherever, whenever, we won't have to say our farewells."

_"I came to say goodbye."_

"Because you are my reason for living."

_"I want to learn something."_

"Before we become fugitives, refugees, I'll tell you what I have learned and what you taught me."

_"Tell me something. Please."_

"I love you."

The light enveloped them and with an explosion of green air, they disappeared. With the highest kingdom hunting their fallen prince and the humblest world searching for their deadliest assassin, the Nine Realms became the most dangerous place for two nefarious souls.


End file.
